thoughts

You know, I don't think I've ever taken back anything I've written on a blog. Because its only right that people get to read what you've written.

Sometimes, I feel so down, I want to freeze myself. I don't know if I just want to wait on the world to change or just die? But I guess I just want that numbness.

Here's something I got from a book:

"A real man - real in all the ways we recognize as real - finds himself suddenly abstracted from the world and deposited in a physical situation which could not possibly exist: sounds have aroma, smells have colour and depth, sights have texture, touches have pitch and timbre. There he is informed by a disembodied voice that he has been brought to that place as a champion for his world. He must fight to the death in single combat against a champion from another world. If he is defeated, he will die, and his world - the real world - will be destroyed because it lacks the inner strength to survive.
The man refuses to believe that what he is told is true. He asserts that he is either dreaming or hallucinating, and declines to be put in the false position of fighting to the death where no 'real' danger exists. He is implacable in his determination to disbelieve his apparent situation, and does not defend himself when he is attacked by the champion of the other world.
Question: is the man's behaviour courageous or cowardly?"