weird weekend
had my cousin stay over
i actually got work done, woot!

the irony of me getting MCs to pon PE and then spraining my shoulder when I do start exercising is not lost on me. Sigh... Whatever, seriously. Let me just die of a heart attack by 30, this exercise crap is irritating.

Urgh this room is stifling, even though the windows are open and the fan's on... Ahh now it's better. Blasting the fan in my face helps.

Speaking of blasting. Reverted to noise-isolation earphones again... so for all intents and purposes, I'm deaf. A combination of Opeth, Fates Warning, Pain of Salvation and We Are Scientists all at permanently high volumes will do that...

I found a term to describe you by the way. Idiosyncratic. I was curious about the word and looked it up. Incidentally that's similar to how I came up with zaftig... And guess what, it wasn't an insult.

Sometimes I think back to one lit lesson in sec 3? 4? I wonder, am I an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert? I'm not 100% sure how these terms are used but I assume that the former denotes a tendency to assume a facade of extroversion while maintaining a desire for solitude, while the latter denotes a tendency to assume a facade of introversion while maintaining a desire for company... In which case, I could technically fall into either. But since the world isn't in black and white, I guess that's understandable. My question would thus be formed as such. Am I more of the extroverted introvert or more of the introverted extrovert? I can think of many occasions when I have been one or the other... And there are of course times when I truly enjoy the company of people and times when I truly enjoy solitude. But I find that whenever I go through a rough patch my tendency is to shun most social situations and be on my own... There are exceptions of course, there are always exceptions. But overall? Shades of grey?

I personally understand the need to have things laid out clearly, this is SO and it has to be. But the more I look for that, the more I realize, over and over again, that the world doesn't work that way. Without sounding too relativistic, I insist that given proper conditions, anything is possible. Nothing is fully secure- Not religion, not science, not thought. Absolutes... They aren't things which I take to very well. Now I have a tendency to ask if the fact is truly absolute. Laws can be re-written and changed. Science is always pushing new boundaries. Religion always re-interprets itself to suit modern contexts. Philosophies come and go, history is only based on our knowledge... Any new evidence could change our knowledge vastly. And still there's a yearning for an anchor that in my opinion just does not exist. It's a futile pursuit, but we cannot stop chasing after that sense of security. That elusive thing that causes us to turn to religion, to science, to search for patterns... Why? I wonder. Why are we so obsessed?

Final realization. I'm a very lazy person. :/